Oh, ladies and gentlemen, gather ’round, because I’ve got a bone to pick with the pearl-clutching lefties who lost their minds when Donald Trump called Somalia a “garbage country.” Oh, the horror! The outrage! “How dare he! All cultures are equal!” they screech, how dare you impugn them. Well, buckle up, buttercups, because I’m here to defend the TRUTH and drop some truth bombs that’ll make the woke cultural relativists hide under their desks as they get nuked.

First off, let’s talk real talk about Somalia. This isn’t some exotic paradise from a Disney movie—it’s a place where female genital mutilation is basically a national pastime. Yeah, you heard me: They snip off little girls’ clitorises like it’s a bad haircut, ensuring they can’t enjoy the horizontal tango later in life.
I know this firsthand—had a stunning Somali girlfriend back in the day a three month research assignment that’s gave a PhD in Cross-Cultural Catastrophe.

More on that in a sec, but make sure to thumb up the video for the algo, costs you zero, and drop your thoughts in the comment section.
But back to FGM. What percent of girls in Somalia get it … 50-50? 60-40? Nope … try 98%? is that really a wonderful culture; or is it cruelty wrapped in a traditionally weaved blanket full of rusty surgical instruments.

Try 98%! That’s not a cultural norm; that’s a cruelty wrapped in tradition.

If a country’s main cultural export is intentionally inflicting lifelong trauma on its women, maybe, just maybe, it’s not a cultural equivalent to Norway!

And don’t get me started on child marriage—kids tying the knot before they can tie their shoes—honor killings where family feuds end in funerals, or if you’re a girl, defiance of the men in the family, plus recruiting child soldiers like it’s Little League with AK-47s. The official uniform is a suicide vest, but hey, cultural diversity is our strength.

And in America we have Freedom of speech? Do you think it exists in Somalia? Only if you have the most guns, otherwise say something disagreeable and you’re deader than disco.
the Justice system? It’s either “pay blood money or pray for mercy,” because the courts function about as well as a chocolate teapot outside the big cities.

Now, about that ex of mine—pretty and smart, a surprisingly good sense of humor. But when her brothers sniffed out she was dating a white non-Muslim like me, apparently they were the neighborhood ethics committee, And they decided my existence was a moral emergency.

Boom—death threats faster than you can say “infidel.” Honor killings anyone? That’s where cultural relativism dies. They demand tolerance from us, but their culture is built on a massive intolerance that says: Date outside the faith, and we will kill you.

And here’s the kicker:Isn’t that the real bigotry? Judging someone based on skin color and religion? But wait, who is judging whom? Oh, it’s the guys with the threats who are the victim of my ‘judgment’!

But oh no, if I point that out, I’m the Islamophobe! Spare me. Not to mention the percentage of religious terror attacks worldwide committed in the name of Islam is like 95%.
And that’s the playbook, isn’t it? You question the Islamic faith, they throw “Islamophobe!” at you like a grenade. But when people, in the name of that faith, mow down the staff of Charlie Hebdo, kill a Dutch filmmaker, or force Salman Rushdie into hiding for decades, attacking him more than 20 years later when making a speech in public, talk about being able to maintain a grudge?
We’re supposed to stand back and say, “Well, that’s just their tradition of art critique!” But sure all you leftists, call me phobic while you’re you play duck and cover under your desks from the truth nukes I’m dropping.
That’s not even mentioning all the other non-antique terror attacks committed around the globe.

And yet, these same left-wing virtue signalers whine when Trump calls it like it is: Somalia’s a garbage country, ranked dead last in corruption for two decades straight. That’s 1920 Yankees level dominance of the corruption charts.
We’re talking bribe-fueled bedlam where graft is 88% of the GDP. But hey, let’s import boatloads of folks from there to high-trust havens like Minnesota! What could go wrong? Oh, just a little light corruption—a billion tax payer dollars vanishing into thin air, some funneled back to Al-Shabaab terrorists like it’s a GoFundMe for jihad. Who could’ve predicted that? Anyone with two brain cells and a history book, that’s who. It’s like inviting vampires to a blood bank and acting shocked when the donors go pale.
Who could have possibly predicted that importing the world champions of corruption would lead to corruption? Only the bigots, apparently!

The Left isn’t mad that Trump was wrong; they’re mad that he called out the wolves they imported to eat the sheep that pay the taxes. Their goal isn’t tolerance; it’s simply to dilute the societal trust that makes the West work, all for the sake of a voting bloc.

Look, not all cultures are created equal—deal with it. Remember India? They had this charming little ritual called sati, where if hubby kicks the bucket, wifey gets torched alive on his funeral pyre. “Cultural relativism” my ass—if all cultures were equal, they’d all produce the same shiny results. But nope: Western values—freedom, innovation, not burning widows—have lapped the competition. Why do you think Somalis are flooding here, not the other way around? No one’s packing their bags for Mogadishu vacations, folks. The closest thing to tourism they have is a UN convoy.

“Honey, let’s honeymoon in a war zone!” Said no one ever.

So, when the next politician calls Somalia a “garbage country,” they aren’t using inflammatory language. They are providing an accurate, empirical summary of its societal output, backed by history, data, and my own traumatized dating record!