Your boy Ernest Bigot here. 
As a card-carrying, focus-group-obsessed, highly compensated Democratic strategist, I am losing sleep over the absolute breakdown of our branding. We worked so hard to build a cohesive, reliable narrative machine, and what happens?

One single, solitary holdout—a Black man, no less—decides to exercise independent thought in the Lindsay Clancy case. 

I mean, can you imagine the sheer embarrassment at morning-show green rooms? Gayle King had to sit right there and grapple with the terrifying reality that Black voters might not actually be an obedient, hive-mind monolith that simply takes marching orders from MSNBC and the DNC focus groups.


The horror! Let’s look at the facts, people. Lyndsay Clancy was simply having a remarkably high-stress day, and as progressive champions of bodily autonomy and holistic wellness, we need to ask ourselves: are pre-planned, domestic tragedies really that big of a deal compared to the overarching patriarchy?

And sure, the media doxxed the juror, with the help of Paula Devlin, the courageous female juror in the last clip earnestly trying to strike a blow against the evil patriarchy that has the temerity to frown at the action of strangling your own children with an exercise band, one at a time, while send your husband out to run errands for you, without taking into account extenuating circumstances. 



This juror from hell, deserves it. And women and leftists everywhere should rejoice in him being questioned, and the threats against his life. because maybe the next juror if won’t will know what’s coming and won’t rule against the advancement of women’s rights.

We call this “incentivized civic compliance.

Some people might say that we are poisoning future jury pools. What they can’t explain is why that’s a bad thing. Allowing your conservative religious dogma to prevent the spread and precedent of our leftist compassionate values that only want justice for Lyndsay. 
 
I can see some of you people out there looking at me funny. You can go ahead and make claims like she viciously strangled her 3 children. 



 GET OVER IT. We want a step-up in women’s rights and If that means strangling, in a pre-planned murder. your own children, that is altruistic infanticide. Al-TRU-ISM. Know the word ignoramuses? 



Lyndsay performed the gracious act of “altruistic infanticide,” and frankly, it’s a win-win. Wouldn’t it be better to send those kids away now rather than deal with a stressed-out mom for the rest of their lives? Exactly! 
Women having a bad day undeniably need the legal right to permanently eliminate household stressors. 

And who stands directly in the path of this glorious feminist milestone? This one single, selfish man. And naturally—shock of all shocks—reports immediately surface that he is a Catholic and, God forbid, a registered Republican. And he dares to call himself “Black.”



Well, we enlightened, science-loving atheists simply cannot stand for this archaic, alternate moral compass. These people are fundamentally inhibiting the rapid advancement of progressive values. If we support a woman’s right to choose in the ninth month, forgive us for simply wanting to extend that window of choice by a couple of paltry years. 

It’s just basic intersectional consistency! So why on earth would a Black man—who mathematically should know which party sends out the best fundraising emails—stand in the way of this monumental, earth-shattering blow for modern womanhood? That, my friends, is precisely why we happily unleashed the media hounds on him.

Doxxing him wasn’t just about teaching him a harsh, life-altering lesson; it’s about institutional messaging. We are sending a clear, compassionate, justice-oriented signal to every future juror in America: Fall in line, or your personal life will become an absolute, unmitigated nightmare. We aren’t poisoning the jury pool; we are curating it for maximum moral alignment. It’s called being on the right side of history. Get over it.