https://youtu.be/3E5rsdJJeBc

video: Portland Woke Councilor’s Home Torched by 50 Time Felon, She Wants to “Hug It Out”

Oh, Portland, you soggy socialist utopia—where the rain’s not the only thing that’s relentlessly pouring down on the rest of us. Enter stage left: Candace Avalos, Portland City Councilor and patron saint of “unhoused neighbors deserve a four-star Airbnb on your dime,” who wakes up one chilly October morning to find her townhome auditioning for a remake of Backdraft—courtesy of one Vashon M. Locust, the human Zippo with a rap sheet so long it’s got its own zip code.

Picture this: It’s 2:40 a.m., cold and damp, and our boy Vashon—51 years young, 50-plus arrests deep in felonies and misdemeanors since 2006 (that’s right, folks: fifty! That’s not a criminal record; that’s a *criminal library, complete with overdue fines for everything from chasing women with sticks to general “don’t do that, dude” vibes)—decides his wet socks and hypothermia are our problem. He sneaks into Avalos’ shed like a budget Batman villain, plugs in a heater, outlet says “nope,” so what does he do? Lights a “small fire” to warm up.
Because nothing screams “survival skills” like turning a tool shed into a tinderbox. It spreads, torches her carport, singes her ride, and nearly turns her cat into a hairless sphynx.
Avalos and kitty, of course she’s a cat lady, bolt out unharmed, but her initial hot take? “This didn’t happen in a vacuum! It’s the threats, the division—clearly, I’m a target for my brave political beliefs!” Victimhood bingo! Jackpot! Cue the GoFundMe for “Woke Warrior’s Wounded Windows.”

Fast-forward a hot minute, cops ID him from surveillance and boom—arrested on reckless burning, criminal mischief (twice, for good measure), and a side of trespassing. All misdemeanors, naturally, because why throw another felony at this oppressed individual.
But wait! Avalos, fresh off her DA debrief, pivots from victimhood, to virtue signaling, cause you have to keep up your woke credentials: “Oh, poor Vashon! It was so cold, his clothes were wet—let’s chat when it’s ‘appropriate,’ hold space for compassion, and tackle those systemic failures!” Compassion? Accountability? Honey, that’s code for “slap on the wrist and a bus pass back to the block party.” She’s out here preaching healing for the guy who’s been booked more times than The Joker, while the rest of us wonder: Lady, you wrote the 2021 op-ed begging for safe sleeping spots for folks like him. How’s that working out? Did the fire department approve your shed as a “tiny home initiative”?

And here’s the kicker that’d make even Schadenfreude blush: This is peak Portland progressivism—soft-on-crime virtue signaling so thick you could spread it on toast. Fifty arrests? Pfft, that’s just “character building”! Chase a lady with a stick in February? “Trauma response—hug it out!” But God forbid you wave a MAGA hat at a rally; you’re a full-blown Nazi, life sentence in the gulag. Why should Joe Average Portlander—taxpayer, neighbor, non-cat—keep rolling the dice on these revolving-door desperados torching their fences, keying their cars, or turning playgrounds into pop-up meth labs? Because you, Councilor Compassion, demand kid gloves for the “vulnerable,” while your own “targeted” townhome smolders. Invite him in next time! Open those pearly progressive gates: “Vashon, mi casa es su casa—warm towel, hot cocoa, and hey, wanna co-author my next column on ‘Equity in Arson’?” Nah, she won’t. That’s for the little people to suffer—the moral inferiors funding her feel-good fantasies from afar. You get the lectures; you get the blunt edge of the crime hammer, she gets the LinkedIn likes.

Wake up, Rose City: Your “healing paths” are paved with the trauma of the Home Depot employee working double shifts to make ends meet, who gets his car torched by one of the oppressed unhoused heroes, who is just trying to be heard. You have to show compassion, for the 50th time.
Look as they roast common sense and decency on the blaze of virtue signaling. Next time a serial shed-squatter sparks up in your backyard, just remember—Avalos approves, they’re homeless because of your oppression of them you monster. But empathy for the Home Depot Worker, F his rich Trump loving ass, he’s rich, he has a job.
Ouch—talk about selective sympathy; in Woke World, a paycheck equals privilege, and a felony spree equals “just misunderstood.” Time to trade that orange apron for a flame-retardant vest, Joe!