video: Why Tony Soprano is JELLY of Virginia’s Democrat Crime Family That Has Risen to POWER

Virginia just turned into the world’s most polite crime scene—and I’m here to narrate it like Tony Soprano’s therapist finally snapped.

Picture this: It’s January 2026. Abigail Spanberger—y’know, the “moderate” Democrat who looks like she could sell you overpriced kale smoothies while quietly pickpocketing your wallet—gets sworn in as governor. Everyone’s like, “Oh good, pragmatic leadership, affordability agenda, yay bipartisanship!” Cut to five days later and the Blue Team is moving faster than a Indy Car Driver, excited to let their true intentions be known.

First up: HB1369. One-page bill. That’s it. One page! It basically says, “Hey state agencies, stop making nonprofits check if the people getting your federal handouts are actually eligible. Just… hand out the money. No questions asked. Trust us! We deserve your trust. We are the good people! No Democrat has ever engaged in fraud!”

Because nothing screams “fiscal responsibility” like turning Virginia into the sequel to Minnesota’s Feeding Our Future scandal, where nonprofits allegedly turned federal lunch money into Lambos and lake houses. But sure, why verify eligibility when you can just yeet taxpayer dollars into the void and call it compassion? You doubt us, you uncompassionate “Maggot” … that’ll put everyone in line.

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Then the tax avalanche hits. Oh boy.

• New 4.3% sales tax on every Uber Eats burrito bowl, Amazon Prime fidget spinner, and DoorDash regret pizza. Because nothing says “affordability” like paying extra just for someone else to bring you sadness in a bag.
• Sales tax on admissions to… everything? Gyms, concerts, escape rooms, probably your kid’s school play if they charge for tickets. Virginia’s about to tax you for breathing near entertainment.
• New income tax brackets: 8% and 10% kicking in over $600K, plus a special 10% VIP bracket for millionaires. Congrats, rich people—your reward for making money is getting taxed like you’re running a cartel.
• 3.8% net investment tax slapped on top of everything else. Because why stop at income tax when you can double-dip on your dividends? Passive income? More like passively furious.
• Hotel tax hike. Because tourists weren’t suffering enough.
• Personal property tax on landscaping equipment. Your electric weed whacker just became a luxury item. Next up: tax on lawn gnomes for “emotional support vegetation.”
• $500 straight-up sales tax on firearm suppressors. Five hundred bucks. Per sale. Right after the feds finally dropped their tax to zero. It’s like Virginia said, “Thanks for the free federal win—here’s our counterpunch: highway robbery with paperwork.”
• And the cherry on top: 11% sales tax on all firearms and ammunition. Because the best way to reduce gun violence is apparently to make legal gun ownership so expensive only criminals can afford it. Disarm the good guys, tax the rest into oblivion—genius 4D chess.

So let’s recap the master plan: Disarm you with punitive taxes and bans, rob you blind with a laundry list of new fees that would make a mob bookie blush, “They’re charging you much in vig. Yo, I charge like 10% of that.”
Then pass a bill saying “Don’t you dare ask where the money went or who actually deserved it.” It’s not governance—it’s a protection racket with better branding.

These folks sit there in their fancy suits, sipping artisanal coffee paid for by your blood, sweat, and tears, smugly declaring, “We know best what to do with YOUR money. Auditing? Transparency? How dare you, peasant. That’s our prerogative. Now go pay the new DoorDash Marxism fee.”

It’s like Tony Soprano looked at state government and said, “Hold my gabagool—this is how you really run a family business.”
The mob should be taking notes. At least the Sopranos had the decency to whack you in person instead of mailing you a tax bill for your suppressor’s “existential noise reduction services.”

And the best part? Without federalism, without the option to GTFO to Florida or Texas where they still pretend taxes are optional, we’d be completely trapped in this blue velvet mafia hug. But hey, at least Spanberger’s got that “moderate” patch emblazoned on her shirt when she had to run for election, while her Blue Team votes to empty your pockets.

If this doesn’t make you want to move—or at least rage-comment below—then congratulations, you’ve been fully assimilated into the Blue Narrative. Maybe Virginia can upon up a bunch of their own Learing Centers. They’ll be able to point to the sign as a measure of their productivity.

But in terms of oversight and auditing, sure NGO’s will be completely excused, because that money gets recycled back to the top, but they won’t fire those government employees, they’ll auditing you, the tax payer, if you get the slightest bit uppity and question their beautiful thing, their family, their Costa Nostra. Enjoy Virginians, you voted for this in a landslide, and now the avalanche is coming.