Sitting US Senator Proves “Hawaiian Brain Melt” is REAL
video: Sitting US Senator Proves “Hawaiian Brain Melt” is REAL
If you try to use Barack Obama as an effort to disprove the medical condition I’ll be describing below, I promise you, this point of contention will be addressed …
Some say Hawaii has magical powers.
From the moment they throw an arrival lei at the airport, the relaxing commences, you sip some mai-tais, take in the beautiful weather and scenery, you chill out, and almost to a person, leave the islands feeling zonked out.
Arriving back on the mainland US, it takes time adjust back. You feel a little more lethargic, a little slow of mind, slightly more dull.
Generally, these symptoms last anywhere from a couple days to a couple weeks, depending on the severity of the case.
What you’ve experienced is known in the scientific community as “Hawaiian Brain Melt.” And while visitors to the islands generally make a full recovery, prolonged exposure has severely detrimental effects on the intelligence of Island inhabitants.
If you doubt me, Sit back and take a deep breath and think about the marvelous advances that Hawaiian society has brought to our world. Think of all the advances in science that have come from the islands, the depth of its philosophers, and the myriad of ground breaking inventions.
Let’s see you have the surfboard, Don Ho, and the eukalali, … oh I could go on and on.
Scientists claim it’s not just “island fever,” theorizing that the brain melt described is unique to Hawaii as a combination of not so gentle earth chakras align specifically in these group of islands, and the frequent volcanic activity have left pollutants in the air affecting the all who land there.
To contrast, let’s take at another group of island dwellers, doesn’t that sound like an insult, you “island dweller” …
But I digress, the islands of Japan host a group of people known as the “Japanese.”
When you think of the world’s smartest people, they would likely be near the top of any list.
They have become one of the most advanced societies in the world, and are always at the cutting edge forefront of technological change, although to be fair to the Hawaiians, their recent advances in robotics still pale to the eukalali.
So given this background I wish to demonstrate the historical effects of Hawaiian Brain Melt with two examples from as far back as the 1940’s, using, once again, Japan as a counterweight:
A day that will infamy, December 7, 1941, the Japanese attack the United States and Pearl Harbor.
Historians have long scratched their heads, wondering why Japanese chose to strike the United states in Hawaii, rather than say Butte Montana?
The answer is rooted in what Japanese authorities observed when its citzens returned from their Hawaiian vacations. The wiley Japanese generals first theorized the existence of Hawaiian Brain Melt and knew that US forces having been stationed there for months already in Hawaii were clearly not going to be in top mental shape.
The likelihood of catching America napping and distracted in Hawaii was far greater in Hawaii than anywhere else.
And their hypothesis was proven correct.
Fortunately, the majority of US citizens are not Hawaiians, thusthe war was won by the allies, and Japan was rebuilt and has since been a loyal ally.
Now onto the present day example that originated in the 1940s again, when current sitting US senator, Maizi Hirono, was born in Japan. So you figure she’d grow up to be a very intelligent woman.
Not so fast.
Her mother brought her to Hawaii at a very young age. And sadly, the symptoms of her suffering from Hawaiian Brain Melt were on full display during the US Senate hearings for Amy Coney Barrett when she asked the nominee the whether she had sexually abused anyone or asked for sexual favors from an unwilling source.
Of course, this question is predicated on the idea that there should be no difference in your interrogation of men and women.
If my Jewish grandmother were testifying would she inquire as to whether she’s ever performed 360 basketball dunk during an NBA playoff game.
If she were a TSA agent, which she might have the brains to be, it’s not clear, would she perform the same security search and pat-down of an 88 year old woman as you do the young Arab guy with wires coming out of his clothes.
If there was a society of mice and elephants living together, would she question the mouse as to whether he had trampled the local village?I’m not saying no mouse has ever knocked over a house, I’m just saying it’s rare.
This political theater was just that, a waste of time as well, but to be fair, it is important that Hawaiian brain melt be seen on display before you decide to move there. Let me be clear just because most Hawaiians are exquisitely stupid, does NOT mean they genetically inferior, it’s just that almost of them suffer from Hawaiian Brain Melt.
And I promised you that I would address Barack Obama, who was born in Hawaii, as the counter to the medical issue that I have described.
First of all, the man did not spend a lot of time in the Hawaiian islands, moving about as a child.
And secondly, there is a subset of Hawaiians that are actually immune to Hawaiian Brain Melt, but you’ll never find them on the island chain. This is due to a Hawaiian law, in order not to make other people feel bad, in order that there is true equity there, and expect more of these types of laws as Maizi Horoni and the her Democratic Party take over— The law reads as follows— “If you have a triple digit IQ, you’re off the island.”
True equity and what we push for. Thank you Mazie Hirono for putting this on full display.